Regret motherhood reddit. For its 41,000 members, it's a place to "rant.

Regret motherhood reddit It may not always be… Then between around 5-11 absolutely no regret, loved motherhood because that was a very sweet spot, I left their dad who wasnt a great partner , found myself a wonderful one that made a huge difference, stopped being a martyr , learned to put myself first and stop this insanity of self sacrifice, etc etc etc. 54 votes, 24 comments. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 24 votes and 19 comments Feb 4, 2016 · Donath’s distinction between roles and relationships was the most thought-provoking section of research here, in my opinion. And everytime my child ask her for something very simple. Hey all, I have a soon 4 y/o son. Now, this may not seem very young but I think a lot of my regret has to do with growing up faster than I would’ve liked. They are my heart, my soul, and the reason to be/do better. . Women who regret opting for motherhood: When did you realize this? I am not a mother, but for the sake of this question, I mean regretting motherhood, not your children in particular. On the flip side, I have seen mothers who regret staying home AND mothers who regret working when their children are young. **Discussion topics and links of interest to childfree individuals. As much as I wish I was one of those mothers that say they "Wouldn't have it any other way", I'm sorry but I would have it another way. My son is special needs and when I'm gone, he has no one. 59K subscribers in the StateOfDecay community. I love my child completely, whole heartedly. Never before have mothers gone on camera talking about regret in this way. I'm #ChildfreeTOTHEMAX with ZERO regret! Die mad, mother fuckers. My mother recalled the financial struggles of her childhood A LOT, and I don't think she ever got over it. Remember that there are a lot of children on this site parading as adults that also resent their own mothers. She was the best person for me and never left me no matter how much bullshit I put us through or how low in life I was. I regret having… EDIT: thanks everyone, I appreciate all the comments. I just saw videos of people talking about how they regret becoming a mother. For its 41,000 members, it's a place to "rant Oct 13, 2022 · Women who express regret are assumed to be unable to love their child or are considered in some way less feminine, she found. Apr 28, 2017 · "Becoming a mother scares me," wrote a Reddit user in the AskWomen subreddit. Her postpartum depression has been soul-crushing. The startlingly honest online confessions from mothers A post on Reddit asked mothers if Deeply regret motherhood… can only remember my child free life. When I realized my marriage was over. However, some of them go a step further and rather have a kid by artificial insemination or random sex with a guy, they call this "voluntary single motherhood". Don’t listen to these weirdos. Everyone says it gets better when she's older but I don't think our marriage will survive that long. really loved motherhood. It is the act of being a mother that you regret, not necessarily the relationship with kids. I try my best to do everything I can for his development & learning. It’s totally ok to regret motherhood. This is extremely selfish and it should be illegal because it plays with the wellbeing of another human being. My daughter also was not planned, and her arrival has destroyed my relationship with my husband which breaks my heart. May 6, 2016 · In March, mother Simone Chubb wrote an article for XO Jane titled, “I Love My Baby, But I Regret Becoming a Mother,” in which she detailed her physically grueling pregnancy and her post-partum However, some of them go a step further and rather have a kid by artificial insemination or random sex with a guy, they call this "voluntary single motherhood". Parents can also offer ways to get closer to their children, advice, support, and solidarity. But I'm just saying I ignored the red flags that involved other aspects of single motherhood that are not exactly her fault. My mother is in her 80s and still says nasty things about children in general, and her own specific children making her miserable. I love my child. Part of me wants to say that I do regret it, but I think it’s more likely that I regret having a child as early as I did. I genuinely like her personality about 75% of the time. Several said “I always wondered if I’d regret it someday and I never have. This site is also rife with incels. I have 5 year old twin girls and while I do love them, I absolutely hate what parenthood has done to my life and loathe the… I love my child more than ANYTHING & only want the best for my child. The transition to motherhood is so hard in the best of circumstances. Oct 13, 2022 · There are times, like when I look at her life and then at my own, that I find myself regretting motherhood. “The more I feel [regret], the more I give them,” a mother interviewed by Donath said about her two children. Once you’re a parent, especially a single parent, all other aspects of your life have to come We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. A lot of them HATE women, being a mother just makes it worse to them. They were my coworkers, doctors, therapists, distant relatives. Motherhood seemed impossible, and hence, an abortion felt like the only way Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 236 votes and 62 comments People hear a woman say "motherhood ain't all it's cracked up to be" and they assume that she hates her kids (to be clear, a person can adore their child and still be stressed af as a parent). One guy even told me that I was "abusive" when I mentioned to him how exhausting this motherhood shit is (I promptly stopped talking to him). Hi! I have 2 friends who have done this. For me I feel like it’s a bad thing to want that. Thanks for any help with answering this question! Locked post. I (29f) became pregnant when the pandemic started and was laid off from my job soon after. I currently have an 11 month old and became a father at 24. Father is usually m. It really upsets us. Fucking up with the mother of my children. And that makes me feel like a very shitty person indeed. I also could afford raising a child by myself. I live with my mom and she complains every night that she never wanted to be a grandmother. I'm on my way home writing from my phone app! I'm in Sweden, was listening to a Swedish podcast on childfreedom, and found out about a Swedish childfree filmmaker working on a very nice documentary about motherhood regret. I’ve always loved kids and babies and the entirety of having kids and sharing yourself to the ultimate level. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now Indeed I must be a strange case with my regret, my family literally thinks Im losing my mind and it must be a mental disorder speaking for me, since noone can comprehend that I regret the decission of being a mother and want to give up my baby and try to get my old job back. When the topic of kids would come up, I’d ask “do you ever regret not having children?” Not one single woman said yes. State of Decay Subreddit Community Keep in mind, it’s great to be a mother, but if you don’t have kids, you can volunteer with kids and still get to experience some motherhood. As for deciding about parenthood for myself, the LCSW who posts in r/fencesitters said something about how no matter what you decide, you’re going to miss out on some things and that’s okay. I completely empathize with you. As long as we frame motherhood as a role, with a rigid set of expectations that mothers are just implicitly expected to be good at, rather than an ever-evolving relationship that flows between mother and child and mother and all the other relationships she has in her Her research even indicates that women who feel guilt over regret are more conscientious parents. But if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have had kids. There's no sub dedicated to people to regret being childfree. It is so complicated, and there are few outlets to talk about it. Daycare/childcare expense are so expensive. I'm not sure if this reddit is familiar with the book but it takes the accounts of 23 Israeli women who regret becoming mothers. So yeah there will be some reaction from son Some moms regret motherhood a whole lot more than others. Donath's research--per this article--says that women who feel guilt for regretting becoming mothers are better EvErYoNe ReGrEtS bEiNg ChIlDfReE - There's literally a subreddit dedicated to regretful parents. ” My mother regrets having children. As a mother myself, I think in part it’s the expectation that women are biologically predisposed not to regret having children. Basically, society thinks there must be something horribly wrong with the mother who expresses dissatisfaction with parenthood. For more helpful information please hit up our beautiful rules wiki! Sorry in advance if the language or text format aren't great. i. ["Childfree" refers to those who do… Over the past few years of frequenting motherhood subs I’ve noticed the same scenarios over and over again why a woman might regret becoming a mother: Too young. & not just like ugh it’s annoying sometimes, I mean, if I didn’t have so much help from my child’s father & both our families, I could not do it. It's like mother son moment. I agree - my three boys are older (2 in college, and one 15 year old). Childfree/Antinatalism 121 votes, 41 comments. My son is 6 months old and was born 6 weeks premature. "I'm afraid of losing myself, of the commitment, and the toll it will take on my relationship," she continued. Dragging my two kids through it right now hurts more than anything. Then she got divorced. We are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders. I wish I'd had more fun before becoming a parent. The rest either didn't or were neutral. My friends all told me I was too young, that the fetus was just a clump of cells, that I would be just fine after the procedure and that I’d have no regrets. Plus, no one really says anything to me about it. Atleast if you go through the kids route you will have some chance in a family. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. He spent time in the NICU and I definitely feel like I have some ptsd from that experience. Some of you might remember I posted that I am making a documentary about women who regret motherhood (but love their children). I feel like motherhood has ruined my life. I want to start by saying I love my children with everything in my being. We are moms mucking through the ickier parts of child raising. We want OP to feel loved, and not in a tough way. This question is directed specifically to mothers who regret having children. I fall more on the motherhood sucks! What was I thinking?! side of the motherhood spectrum. If you are not answering the question, you will be temporarily or permanently banned. As the sibling of a single mother, and the child of two abusive parents, I cannot in good faith recommend ever having children. Although her parenting style isn't one I endorse completely so I guess that could be a red flag. I wouldn’t say I regret having my daughter (7) because I love her more than anything. Neither of us were interested in pursuing it further than just meeting. 151K subscribers in the questions community. Posted by u/No-Manufacturer8052 - 36 votes and 29 comments Posted by u/switchedatdivorce - 692 votes and 43 comments I want to be a mother. I think a lot of people didn’t understand the choice I made. My husband (30m) and I decided it would be best for me to stay home and raise our son for both cost and personal reasons… and I regret everything. After having a taste of motherhood and all it's glory, I would opt NOPE. Motherhood isn’t what I thought it would be, in fact it’s quite the opposite. Welcome to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both serious and silly content, and intended for women's perspectives. I miss traveling, I miss having time to myself, I miss my old career, I miss having money, I miss having a nicely decorated home, I miss living in apartment in the city instead of a house in the burbs that And I'm going to be very real here, OP, if you truly did not want to have the baby, and still are very unhappy acting in the role of mother, I know of instances where women in my own family and the family of friends have given their children over to other family members (parents, sisters, aunts) to raise their children and have lived the life There are men and women who appear more likely to regret their choice (due to financial concerns, poor timing, accidental pregnancies, etc, etc), but I've also known others who've dreamed of becoming parents their entire lives, had their children very much deliberately, and still ended up voicing regret or unhappiness over their choice. She has frequently noted the benefits that came from joining mother’s groups and connecting with others who did Single Mom By Choice. And I want you to know that you don’t have to say that you “wouldn’t hurt your children ever” because not liking motherhood has nothing to do with hurting children. The subreddit regretfulparents is a thing, and their stories are pretty thought-provoking. I desperately would love to be a mother, and have been struggling with the fact that I may be getting too old for that. I regret that I didn't travel more. The baby grows in the mother, the mother gives birth, she (sometimes) breastfeeds. I don't regret kids because I regret him. If you are not a mother who regrets having children, do not leave a top level response to this question. 1. Writing all this I know its pretty obvious my current state of mind but life is so unpredictable I might be 32 and suddenly get baby fever. So now I'm curious. Just the bitter moment ruined everything. This is a place to ask questions. The only women I have known who regret focusing on career were ones who had actually wanted children eventually and later had fertility issues, making them wish they had tried to conceive sooner. She now has two children. When I reflect back on the situation, I was so scared of motherhood that abortion seemed like the only option. My grandmother, who was very sweet and grandmotherly in my memory, was apparently very impatient and cranky with my mom and aunt. She says "Im not your mother. First of all I want to thank all of the fellow parents on here because this sub is getting me through a very dark time. But doing this alone feels like torture. Both of them seem to be coping with motherhood like absolute rock stars. My mother rarely physically abused me (and I was a tall kid, so after a while, she no longer had any kind of height or weight advantage), but I can vividly remember more than one occasion where she went on a violent rampage around the house, and when my father got home, she pointed to the broken things and said, "[My name] did that. They keep saying things to her like "oh, you'll change your mind," or "you're just going through a selfish phase. The mothers in the article NEVER said they regretted their children (the opposite actually) but just regret motherhood itself and listed reasons why motherhood, mommy culture, and the imbalance of mother vs father roles in their children’s lives. Even last night when I was nearly in tears because he wouldn’t settle down and wouldn’t sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time, I was frustrated with him and exhausted but just kept reminding myself it’ll u/Regret-Mother. Their relationship from a biological perspective is significantly more intimate than the father’s from the start. It’s not the exhaustion of early motherhood in my case, it’s the worry and stress about this world they are inheriting and I can’t save them from it…I love them with all of my heart (painfully so) but if I could do it over again, knowing what I know now, I would most likely choose to be child-free… Sort of? I started fostering as a single woman and became sort-of mother to many children over the years. Jun 28, 2022 · A Reddit thread titled 'Regretful Parents' was created in 2013 to provide some comfort to parents who "think they shouldn't have become parents". For 18 years the mother was good to son . Over the past few years of frequenting motherhood subs I’ve noticed the same scenarios over and over again why a woman might regret becoming a mother: Too young. Finances. Go ask your mother and leave me alone" and everything in between that and around that. Despite all of that, I don't want to be a single mother. 5M subscribers in the childfree community. I don’t like motherhood at all, I’m always tired, low, don’t want to eat and just be left alone. If we are disturbed by the idea that a woman might regret becoming a mother, Donath says, our response should not be to silence and shame these women; rather, we need to ask honest and difficult questions about how society pushes women into motherhood and why those who reconsider it are still seen as a danger to the status quo. But I regret it because I can't forever protect him and the world is not kind to people like him. Now Im very excited to share with you all the teaser trailer for the documentary! Indeed! The moment a woman says having children was a mistake/its not all great she opens herself up to the amount of judgemental shit from society-because there is still this attitude that the most important thing for a woman to be is a mother and that if she complains about this/doesnt keep ap appearences she is a terrible mother and person. I have had nightmares where I realize that I’m pregnant and want to die. Women in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s. Now we all are grown up but it was very difficult when she was young, managing 3 children, household, and a job with a very passive unhelpful husband. Some of you might remember that I wrote in this forum before - trying to find participants for my documentary ”Motherhood: Confessions of regret”. Atleast I have a husband that does his part of it all, thankfully. Please report all rule breaking I also have a mother who loves me very much and is a great mom but definitely has some regrets about how I came into existence. But as much as I regret motherhood I feel a guilt for not givning him a sibling. I just wanted to share an update since so many of you showed support. . I don’t believe your situation is what was described in the article. I am currently creating a documentary about regretting motherhood. This scares me because I don’t want to be stuck in that feeling of regret. Look at this way. " 2. There are days I wish I were doing whatever I wanted. He is an amazing little human being. You aren't alone in your feelings, and they do not make you a terrible person. She is definitely the kind of person who feels like she is a victim of motherhood. I think, you’re attractive, but have standards when choosing a partner, you may end up alone with or without kids. Its like mother son . Dont ask me. Only 2 of the women in the book actually wanted to have children. I just wanted to clarify that the red flags were not her being a mother. The internet, especially Reddit, isn’t a great reflection of real life. But seriously, I HATE the responsibility. 1M subscribers in the Mommit community. While I know that most SMCs put a lot of thought into having a child (possibly more thought than the average couple or single mother by chance), it stands to reason that there must be at least a few regretful single mothers by choice out there? Sigh, yea . I don’t regret it, but it did significantly change the trajectory of my life. A new mum-of-one took to UK forum Mumsnet to say she regrets motherhood Fucking up with the mother of my children. It just seems that so many of the popular books I see mentioned are about mothers who regret having children or completely ruin their offspring. Reply reply Can complete understand that. I want to create a beautiful and emotional film that opens up for discussion and thought. " My mother continues to knit baby clothes and gives them to my wife. A place to get personal things off your chest. I'm 37 and single. Other days, I wish I'd been able to have him 5 years sooner just so I could have more time with him (the regrets go in all sorts of ways!). Regreting motherhood is by no means a synonym of not loving/ hating your kid. This is a SAFE place for parents who think they shouldn't have become parents to rant, confess, and get things off their chest about their kids, significant others, families, etc. 3M subscribers in the TrueOffMyChest community. Paper illustration: Kathy De Castro Mothers who secretly yearn for their old lives before children have confessed their regret online. I think women in general are overwhelmed with motherhood, my mom even joke telling us that if she knew what motherhood was about she would have taken the pills, eat the packaging and the invoice, for us it's hilarious because we weren't well behaved and we are 6 kids which it's a lot, but we are over 30 and we understand that we were a lot for her. Second: Many women regret motherhood. Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and… Many days I regret having a child with my husband who hasn’t stepped up at all, but I do not regret motherhood or my child one bit. The pregnancy wasn’t planned, their friends still attend school, party, travel and they’re stuck at home with a baby. He is teaching me to be a better person and I want to be for him. I am sure it's very hard at times but I think the fact that they consciously made this choice helps them keep challenges in perspective. But before someone ties me to a stake and sets me aflame, I need to make that necessary qualifying statement we must all use when complaining about our lot: I love my children. A child needs their mother, yes, but they need a mother who is emotionally and mentally stable. My sis loves her daughter, but she regrets becoming a mother every day. ETA: this is one of the reasons why women need a Choice, and that it’s important that it is socially acceptable to not have children. But I really dislike being a mother most of the time. due to a deep depression I tried to commit deletion by overdosing on pills ( idk I quite simply regret my decision to become a mother and found more significantly fulfillment, joy, and happiness in my pre-children life. You are working very hard to do all of the things you are supposed to do. I do not have great advice, but I wanted to send my sympathy. My grandmother had both my mother and my aunt before her 20th birthday. Posted by u/Just-Medium-8331 - 30 votes and 28 comments It's the heat of the moment clip. She so refused to give me info on my bio father but I had just enough context to find him on my own and that is decision I sometimes, often, regret. There I think that most of us have regrets in some form or another. Their mother should be able to provide consistent care & engagement in a safe, comfy environment. I have a co-worker who became a single mom by choice (via sperm donor IVF). Or check it out in the app stores Deeply regret motherhood… can only remember my child free life Motherhood isn’t what I thought it would be, in fact it’s quite the opposite. But putting the kids first sometimes means recognizing your limits and putting some systems in place so they can still have their needs met. I have very few things I regret in life, mainly because if I am ever in a situation I don't like, I do something about it! I'm a new mum and I already regret having a baby - I miss being able to watch Netflix and spending time alone. My wife tells her mother and my mother that we don't want children. I think it's SO MUCH work for one person that I'm afraid I'd regret my decision down the road. My insecurities got the best of me, and now I'm forever watching her live her life from a distance. No judgment or bullying allowed! But I also have anxiety and OCD and ADHD (awful combination these two) so motherhood would also be so hard on me mentally. I believe it has the potential to be very unique. She knew she wanted to become a mother, but didn’t want to rush trying to find the right partner. a. Reminder to commenters: Be nice or shut up! Share kindness, support and compassion, not criticism. having child. I was the result of him cheating on his then-fiancé (now ex-wife) with my bio mother. First: You aren't a terrible mother. I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Posted by u/switchedatdivorce - 692 votes and 43 comments I love my child. the support I had from this subreddit was incredible. yiyeojue csmfsc fuwzm byhxgha yexmpuy cayzeg wnnyc natj hyado ozj