You don't understand, that's fine. He’s also gay, but our relationship is just platonic. (i dont know if im bi, because only she appeals to me. Like asking him to walk you to your car at night (gives him an opportunity to feel like a protector). I know that at some point, my best friend's mom was asking who I was, and they had to say my birth name to prevent any hurtful words. My best friend, Chad, was really keen on getting to know her, which I felt was normal because he is my best friend of 10 years and my wife is a big part of my life. Have been in love with my best friend for 2 decades. also for all those claiming that im bi, its just not so. See I miss my best friend too, but that’s usually after the 7 hour drive they take to meπ long distance sucks, hope you’re doing good οΈ. Good luck! Reply. To start, I'm male, 30, and until last year… My best friend [22M] and I were classmates from 8th grade up until finishing high school. 4. i am just attesting to the fact that i am very much straight and think i have given pretty solid proof of that. Vette--1 • Early 20s Male • 3 yr. 1. If you will feel relief from confessing you’re feelings then go for it; but ask yourself if it’s worth potentially sacrificing your friendship with him if he feels that will change the dynamic too much. Moving forward to the next school year we're in the 10th grade. We fell in love as teenagers. All the things you describe - being close, sharing a friend group, relying on eachother for support, speaking to eachother in confidence - they are hallmarks of a healthy FRIENDSHIP. At some point I literally thought I was falling for him which made me question my sexuality quite badly. There are three possibilities if ever you confess: (1) it may go wrong and your friendship might end/might not be the same as before, (2) he likes you too, so good for you, or (3) he will turn it down but you will remain good friends. I was already at the youngest in my class and I skipped a grade, he started school a year late. Be polite and courteous to each other. I’m in love with my straight best friend. Because you don't want to change things, there might be a part of you that wants to avoid, dismiss, or deny your growing feelings. Other times, it means you don't. Wanted to be supportive even though my feelings were ENFP best friend is very popular in her university, people think that she’s very feminine, just like a lady. And therefore would be straight. My best friend and I have dated before, but Yes my best friend and I are really soul mates. We are currently in high school, senior year. Best case scenario, she likes you too. For TL;DR check below. Let other friends take more space in your life. If you think it won't be reciprocated, and want to preserve the relationship status quo that's understandable, reasonable even. I will never tell him because being his best friend is what he needs most in life right now. Sometimes, life just falls into place even in the darkest of times. You don't have to peruse everyone you feel like this towards. As the title says, I (23M) am seriously in love with my best friend (well call abby). As worst he will explain all the reasons why he wants to just be friends, at best he will tell you he feels the same way. Everyone has their life to live and that's okay. However, their parents are not supportive of anyone within the LGBTQ+ community. Support them, you would be an arsehole to do anything else. To me, people saying that is a sign of immaturity. I am not his type and I would rather keep being best friends with him rather than telling him and possibly losing that closeness. And the same way, try to make him meet more people, if possible. They continued to text me daily, asking about my day and suggesting Face Time calls, but I often made excuses. I honestly wish some of my forever best friends would’ve kissed me. By best friend? Absolutely. There are four actors in this story, my best friend (m, 28), his ex-girlfriend (f, 23), my ex-girlfriend (f, 25) and myself (m, 28). I’m spending quality time with my best friend. So happy for people who find true happiness together and love out of something they never would have before expected. LuvmyBerner. You did the right thing. I know you may not think much of it, but growing up with frequent physical intimacy with the opposite sex isn't common. Life isn’t perfect or easy, but my goodness am I glad to be going through it with my best friend! . dyldrab. Be careful not to be that friend who is like “haha girlfriends hate me because Im one of the boys”. it was just me and her until a third person (a boy) joined our friendgroup. But you might want to try to have a conversation with them about how you think you might be bi and see where that goes. MarrkDaviid. Let him know how you feel and that you're not pressuring him. To put it in short he said he was straight. I've only ever been attracted to girls, both physically and romantically and I've never even considered the idea of possibly being attracted to another man. I feel like most people have "close" friends i. You didn't go about the best way of doing the right thing. Whatever the outcome, just be prepared. She is an outgoing person and befriended all the other kids that hung around the house but I always felt that she had a somewhat special interest in me. She was one of my closest friends, and I was happy with that. While doing so, talk, joke, play around give him a kiss. She can't help if she has feelings for you, and you can't be faulted for not having the same feelings for her. He was also ragingly homophobic and anti-lgbt, and used a lot of nasty jokes about Caitlyn Jenner when all that happened. It did alter our friendship a bit, as I truly saw him as my friend. So, prepare yourself for an answer that you might not want to hear. I am attracted to women, have had sex exclusively with women, and dated women (exclusively). He’s the only person I’ve ever sacrificed a good night Repost. You may not get laid in a couple of years but you can remain best friends. During this time he was a bit more effeminate than most guys, but had multiple girlfriends, played sports, and went to the gym. When I was in high school, I met a really good friend. Nothing more. friends who aren't always available but who enjoy your company and who "get" you and want to include you. One of the most genuine persons I’ve been lucky to meet through college. I love him a lot, platonically, and I say it. May just find a new kind of happiness that's been waiting for you. Ended up sleeping together a few times during that trip, parted ways in Germany and Imagine being a dude who says “I want to fall in love with and marry my best friend” I am that dude. We were best friends all through college and decided to meet up in Amsterdam on our gap years. am i 27f in love with my 27f best friend? i never considered being bisexual, i’ve always thought i was heterosexual since i’ve only ever felt attracted to men. IMO, it's not worth it. So, I'm 23, I live in Italy and I've always been as straight as an arrow. You never know what the other side is thinking. Wishing the best of luck for you. Something along the lines of "I value our friendship a lot, you're my best friend, but i can't return your romantic feelings as i am straight, i hope you can understand". I love her a lot and every little thing she does is really cute, but idk if I like her as a best friend or something more. I would drop hits once in a while and he told me when I confessed my feelings that he caught on. A mature person is perfectly capable of having friends of the opposite gender. You are in hell now, but it will get better. I've had trust issues since then. prowlings. My best friend is a gay guy and we’re very close. Closed• total votes. My grandparents have been in love and together for over 60 years are STILL in love and holding hands at their age. Don't deny how you feel. Me and my bf lived with bsf for all of quarantine, but have since moved out of living with bsf and live together. Get in comfy clothes together and veg on the couch and snuggle. I had no clue. Pour some wine. Do you have a special person in your life that you’ve always only thought of as a friend, but recent events are making you wonder if there is more to the friendship? Do you get butterflies in your stomach when you’re around them? These may be signs that you are falling in love with your best friend! You could take this quiz to help you Here's the issue I face: I'm transgender, and my best friend knows this and accepts me. We’ve been close friends for over 5 years, and he has been there for me through everything. To me, your only opposite gender best friend should be the person that you’re dating. Because if he doesn't feel the same, the friendship wouldn't be the same anymore. My best friend is a woman (I am a man), and we have been very close friends for 17 years. I was the one that introduced bsf to bf and they became as close as we were. I grew up on the same block as Mike, and we've essentially been best friends since before preschool. Talk about it with someone you trust. 5. Meanwhile ENTJ best friend, I met her 8 years ago during high school. I just feel more comfortable with people who I can talk with, and talk openly with. Socially, it is a good idea to be exposed to your opposite in order to learn and grow, you'll just be a better well rounded human. So, now that we are dating it’s even more Nothing is going to come from you telling him, because he is straight. But for me, I feel as though I need to get this out and maybe get some input. Yep, met him in Year 11 Spanish class at age 15 and instantly hit it off. I am in love with my best friends boyfriend and I’m done hiding it. Personally, it is great to have opposite gender friends because they add to my life in ways other men don't. Also rubbing your new happiness in her face on SM will escalate her pain etc. I am a male and most of my firends are other males. My girlfriend's parents/grandparents are the same way. But deep inside when she’s with me, she acts crazier than me, and childish :)) We’ve been best friend for 15 years, I love her. Yes everyone is replaceable, even yourself my dear, it's choosing not to, it's choosing your partner everyday that makes a relationship solid and worth it. But no, they were too busy kissing each other to include me. 9. But McCollough advises honesty is the best policy. My one caveat is that I've been raised in an egalitarian Nordic society where boys and girls being friends is completely normal. And he’s the most wonderful person and man I’ve ever had the pleasure of being friends with. Now, don't get me wrong, I've always been extremely supportive of same sex marriages and LGBT community rights; and Male/female best friendships between heteronormative individuals are basically uncomsumated relationships anyway the love one has for a best friend that is the gender you're attracted to isn't very far from romantic love the difference mainly being a perceived lack of physical attraction on the part of one person or the other. would still hit it, with tender loving care. over these recent years she fell in love with him and told no one but me. Try and pursue it. ) anyways, we’ve been friends for 5 years now. I’m 18 and male, my best friend is also an 18 y/o male. One of my best friends told me he was in love with me. I really wanted them to get along. It may not be the same for everyone, so having an honest and genuine conversation about the course of your friendship is the best way to handle the situation, as hard as it may be: Eat well, sleep, cry, pamper yourself, get a massage, go somewhere out of town. And your belief that the friendship is somehow different based on genders. Jun 10, 2023 Β· 15 Signs Your Best Friend Is in Love With You. You owe it to yourself to be happy and check with your friend, they are likely feeling the same as you do! It's no different to having a best friend that's the same gender. in november after dealing with rejection from a boy i liked i realized i had to go to therapy to deal with some big insecurities and other issues and i’ve later been diagnosed with pdd (persistent depression disorder) which is At the end of the day, you may need to accept that this could affect your friendship, at least temporarily, and there's a chance you might not have your old friendship back. I am in my mid-20's, and am straight. And now my bestie is married to a man. I like to keep things as how it is now until Im sure its safe to tell him more. Do not catfish. tl;dr im in love with my best friend and im straight. fast forward to present I (ftm,25) am in love with one of my best friends (m,30). I wouldn’t try and breakup someone with their best friend but I just would not date a person like that. I am so beyond lucky to have As the title says, I'm having a hard time figuring out my feelings towards my best friend. That being said, I will begin my story. That as you are finishing dinner let him know how you feel. We always share everything and she She is a lesbian. Best of luck. And then she was asked out by another guy on a date, which she was not interested (she told me that at the moment she was disgusted by males) and friendzoned him. Award im in love with my best friend of the same gender. Look at your language. If you want to pursue a relationship, and the factors that made it a bad idea in the past aren't in play anymore, ask him on a date and see how it goes. Then I met this girl and in the beginning I only thought she was pretty (like many girls think other That's a lot of pressure. I used to always hang out at his place and so became very close to his family, especially his mother. I really wish that wasn’t my first homosexual experience and I don’t want you to go through the same thing. I met this guy (my best friend whom I will call Will) at the beginning of the spring semester at college, and neither of us had many friends or really any at all if I’m being honest. I do not feel at all sexually attracted to men. And I have been for a while. EmbroidedBumblebee. In my school 70% of students were females and there was no gender segregation, so I was the only male in a group of female friends bc I could barely find any other male classmates lol. [new] I'm in love with my gay best friend. I realized that I had feeling for my best friend and talked to him about it, he replied that he had loved me for years. I don't like how liking someone and saying it is inmediatly seen as sexual or romantic. Hey I just wanted to add an additional option: I’m in my 20’s, gay, and am still in love with a friend I made at 10yrs old. I’m in love with my best friends sister. Any normal friend? No. Wear something he really likes, play music he enjoys, and give his car a bath. no other girls. It's hard to find good friends, and I have never found anyone even close to him. You don't want to be around for when she starts dating other dudes and she w as nts to tell you stuff as if your one of her gfs. We bonded instantly and 6 years later we’re still close. I started dating my best friend…. “The boys” but your best friend “female”. Either way it will help you either in the romance department or bring closure to your feelings. To all those waiting to say something to someone, don’t. Her and I clicked really well from the start, and from the start I thought she was incredibly attractive. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I'm a girl and I think I'm in love with my female friend. So we were in the same grade. I (23m) have fallen hopelessly in love with my best friends younger sister (18f). I don't find other girls attractive, but for some reason my friend gives me butterflies. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. He did this every single day. He helped me when I broke up with my first boyfriend, he helped me and my family after my dad passed away. It’s really nice, even though life makes it hard to hang out. Falling for my girl best friend wrecked me quite badly esp as I was a teenager. e. How y’all act is a dynamic that is likely going to annoy significant others at some point. As the title says, I'm having a hard time figuring out my feelings towards my best friend. I'm happy for your friend though this sounds like a lot to go through. 7K votes, 107 comments. But for now, we're just best friend without ambiguity anymore. We met in highschool. Background_Tangerine. Or if you want to be biological, two opposite sex people who both identify as opposing genders would still be straight. I’ve had the pleasure of watching him change and grow from a shy college guy into a confident teacher. Last year (2012-2013), I ended up in a housing situation with two of my best friends, and another friend (at the time we weren't that close). 8M subscribers in the AdviceAnimals community. This is why I’m scared to tell her about this kind of stuff because I would never want to loose her in my life or our friendship. I couldn't bring myself to end the friendship directly, so I started ghosting them. My wife now is a naturally shy person so it took her a long time to get comfortable around my friends. Reddit's Gold Mine Depends on who. Reply reply. Also when I see an attractive person, of course I’m going to think they’re hot and want them step on me, regardless of their orientations. I (F17) have known my best friend (F18) since we were in middle school. I love my best friend so much, she is literally the best thing in my life, she is so supportive and sweet and understanding and funny and intelligent and she's SO talented and she's so beautiful and I feel like she understands me more than anyone else in the world, and the best part is that she feels the same way. In short, you have 3 possibles tracks, imo : -> First is to keep some distance with him. The beauty of sexuality is that you can label it how you like, and you can find happiness in those labels alone. They become most important to me. The-Lord-Of-Salt. And I really really appreciate ur wishesππ½ππ½ππ½ i definitely will do my best to be a grear friend and make him happy. and I am absolutely overjoyed. We’ve travelled together, lived together, talk almost every day and he genuinely is a good friend I met his girlfriend not long after meeting my friend. Be patient and don't treat meeting someone like your best friend as the ultimate goal. Leave her alone. Do not harass or annoy others in any way. Wow, this seems really extreme. I unintentionally distanced myself from everyone, including them. I would be especially concerned if they told me they had an opposite gender best friend that they had met after we started dating. First of all-- a little about me. We are happily married for about a decade now, with our second baby on the way. true I'll try to make this as brief as possible but, it will not be short by any means. Jan 12, 2023 Β· Here are some next steps if you're in this situation: 1. 22 votes, 19 comments. I honestly would love it if she wanted something more, but at the same time, I'm perfectly fine with just staying friends. To make treat him the same as you normally would even well he was a girl and try not to dead name them to much use the right pronouns make sure others arent dead naming your bro and support him in the change. Over the years I was in high school As I entered high school, my demanding schedule left little time for friends and family. I put myself out there and if only Things can seem a certain way in life for a while, then something happens, and changes so much for you, but if you know it's what you want, go for it. If he's not comfortable with you dating his ex, then you have a choice: your best friend of fifteen years, or a potential dating option that you "like a lot," but whom you've never hung out with alone. Honestly I am not planning to tell him anything. We've always spent a lot of time together, especially these days with the pandemic and such. So we instantly became best friends, not only by default The majority of my friends are women, including the person I consider my best friend. (They/ Them pronouns are being used to remain anonymous). I’m so unbelievably blessed to know someone like her, let alone have mutual feelings. Tell him your straight and you'll understand if he needs a bit of space but tell him he's your best friend and you would hate to In your case, its best to approach it first by talking to your friend and what they think of it. •. Worst case, she sees you as a friend. I have a strong feeling there was a time where she felt the same way as me, but she has moved on. I (25f) am in love with my gay best friend (m28). Success Story π. Did psychedelic truffles together and had a seriously stupid and fun time. Shit, I’m glad my best friend isn’t trans π For real though this is like a fu king fairytale and I love it. I find it difficult to hold a conversation with most guys around me, despite sharing many of the same interests. Madragun. We always share everything and she knows me So true. That isn't a bad thing, mind you, so don't worry about it too much. Journal your thoughts, just write for 30 minutes every day whatever comes to mind, even if it is "f@ck" written 100 times. I (23F) have had a best friend (“Katie”23F) since about 3rd grade, both of our families have been friends for years and I adore her so much. 3. Mostly just a pretty big crush, but it grew into full blown, whole hearted love a few months ago. It always does. I'll call him Jake. We just love each other as friends and we tell each other that. To answer your question though, yeah, wanting to kiss another dude is definitely gay. Whenever I (20f) and my boyfriend (19m) visit my male best friend (20m) at his apartment, I usually sleep in the same bed as bsf when we visit him. I can't blame him, I can't be mad, I am grateful for his honesty but now I feel a deep pit in my chest. falling in love with same gender best friend, help! I know this question has probably been posed before on this subreddit. I have noticed that I’m attracted to both the male body and also the female body, though, i’m Especially remember Rule 1: Be polite and civil . Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. One day I was passing through the hallway with one of my friends and we saw Anthony and his girlfriend making out, once he saw me he pushed her away and wiped his lips and proceeded to put his head down. After around 6 months of feeling something I told him how I felt. But after a little bit of time, things went back to normal as I really value him in my life. Sometimes, that means you have to distance yourself for a little while. In the past, SOs have met that definition of best friend for me, but that's about it. I'm straight, always considered myself straight, only ever been attracted to guys. An SO to me is someone I passionately fall in love with, share life with, becomes my lover and best friend. I've been friends with this person for almost 4 years. I am a male and most of my friends are females. By definition, she is not attracted to men. At the same time, a lot of drama also happened in our senior year: Before prom, my bestie had a crush on a guy and asked him out to sadies, got rejected in a rather disrespecting way. Chorillian. Reply. We never dated, and never seriously considered dating. ago. I’m not proud of it, I know it’s inappropriate, but I can’t help it. About a few years ago we met… Society. You should talk to your friend and see what he is feeling, my wife was and is my best friend and that will not change. 2. Talk to your best friend, tell her what you are doing, and if you have to, go on private dates or meet up privately (AFTER BREAKING UP) but id wait a little while to make things serious, so you're sure you want to jump into another relationship. If he's the friend you say he is, then he'll understand, and whether or not he returns your feelings, he'll be able to help you through processing them. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. In my early teenage years, I knew I had feelings for him but he began dating one of my other best friends so I never said anything. I'm 17 yo and I have known my best friend (F18) since we were in middle school. I do find myself attracted to every person as in I find everyone cute if I spend enough time with them. We met when I was 11 and pretty much grew up together. Like if nothing works out in terms of a “romantic relationship”, I want to at least stay besties or friends comfortably . Award. He was my first really good friend. However, we have had some mild tension in our friendship for Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 8 votes and 24 comments I still love my best friend. My muse. Some time and distance between yall should help. Or asking him to help you with carrying a couple of bags. So, I've had feelings for my best friend's wife for a while. edit: i am not bragging about my past. If you don't want that, then start spending a lot less time with him and focus on other things until you get over it. No one is available 24/7. You'll be able to move on in a healthy way. These might seem silly but they can be really affirming to someone who is stuck in feminine roles most of the time. 12 years of friendship. That means trans people who identify as one gender, could be attracted to the opposite identifying gender. He’s so sweet. Anon-1111123. I knew that nothing could ever come from it, I mean she married to my best friend, and they are very happy together. The fault doesn't lie with either of you. I met my friend about 5 years ago, and quickly became very good friends. Here are some tell-tale signs that I experienced over a 10-year friendship that clued me in on my friend's love for me. I've had both kinds at different points in my life so I speak from experience. gb pg pq qa bh ra aa xh sh wk